changing for good
by Linda A. Curtis
Ten days into the New Year, my friend phoned to lament – she has already broken her New Year's resolution. Recently the Wall Street Journal reported that one-third of American's make resolutions. (Some of us still haven't learned.) Two-thirds of those resolutions are broken within a few weeks.
If you are one of the rare and inspiring people who makes and keeps your New Year's resolutions, congratulations. This article is written for the rest of us.
Resolutions don't work. In my experience, there are two reasons for this. First, we already have too much to do, and resolutions add more to a very long list. Second, many resolutions take an against position (i.e., eliminating caffeine, no more gossip), instead of being for something (like physical well-being and supportive relationships).
Let me tell you something that does work: Taking a stand. Taking a stand is different than taking a position. The power in taking a stand is that you are not against anything, you're for something.
A stand opens up possibilities, as we shift from Victim to Creator. Suppose for a moment that one of your peers has proposed a marketing strategy you disagree with. You have a list of reasons why the plan doesn't make good business sense, and feel justified and invested in arguing against it. It will require dollars from your budget, and output from your staff. Where do you go from here? New possibilities rarely appear when we are locked down in a position of right or wrong.
Here is where a stand creates a powerful alternative. Imagine instead that you stand for Partnership. Your 'no' might turn into 'I wonder', your resistance to curiosity. New questions emerge like, 'who do I work for?' (Hint: the answer is not limited to the name(s) above yours on the org chart.) Partners seek to find the 'third right answer'. Partners collaborate versus collude, listen versus assume, take responsibility versus point the finger. Out of your stand will emerge a way of being, reflected in your daily choices.
Choosing what you stand for is a highly individual process, because you are creating something new, where nothing existed before. Your stand is your personal promise to the world, your brand. It describes your way of being, the place from which you operate. Nelson Mandela stands for humanity. Martin Luther King Jr. stood for moral courage, and Gandhi for non-violent change.
These leaders showed us the transformative power of taking a stand. Gandhi's stand opened the way for something to happen that had seemed totally impossible - the British walking peacefully out of India . His motivation was not prompted by the external and arbitrary turn of the calendar. He worked from the inside out and embodied the teaching he espoused. His process allowed for minor setbacks, while he learned patience, expressed compassion and demonstrated perseverance.
When you stand for something, opportunities to act consistent with your stand appear as if by magic. If you stand for Profits with Integrity, you will keep your promises, (including the ones you make to yourself), never manipulate the numbers, or criticize a co-worker behind their back. If you stand for Powerful Communication you will seek to understand your part in any miss-communication, and not withhold information from those who are entitled to it. If you stand for Lifelong Learning, you will embrace new ideas, and create an environment where it is safe for yourself and others to admit ‘I don't know'.
What do you stand for? Whether you are leading a social revolution or a team of five, taking a stand is powerful, self-defining, and 100 percent within your control. While many of your roles are externally determined (father, daughter, vice president), your stand is wholly driven by your internal vision. What do you want to stand for? I recommend you take five minutes right now to reflect on this question. Allow your desire and creativity to answer. Then stand up. As Gandhi encouraged, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".